Caregiver Stories

Featured Story: Lisa’s Story

My name is Lisa Yesbek. I am a single mother. On July 29, 2003, at 6:00 p.m. I was waiting for my 15 year old son to come home for dinner when I received a terrifying phone call. My son was laying on the street screaming, 911 had been called and an ambulance was on the way. I was confused. I had just spoken to him. He was in the neighborhood next to ours. What had happened that he was left in the street to die?

Later, I learned that he had been sitting on the trunk of a car talking with a friend and the driver of a borrowed car. The individual driving the car decided to drive off while my son and his friend were still on the car. My son’s friend was able to slide off, but my son held on as best he could until the driver slammed on brakes. After my son had fallen to the street, the driver fled the scene. My son was 5′9 at the time and weighted 240 pounds. He fell backward off the trunk onto the street. He was flown out by a Medivac helicopter to Prince Georges Hospital.

By the time I reached the hospital he was in a coma and on life support. I was in shock. The doctors told me that my only child was not going to live and to make funeral arrangements. They said he had suffered a servere closed head injury and his scull was shattered. The doctor said, “you just don’t live when your brain has that much internal bleeding and pressure.” He said that if he was able to survive he would just be in a vegetative state of living.

He was in a coma and life support for a month. To reduce the pressure on his brain, they drilled two holes in his head. All his organs began to shut down. He developed full blown pneumonia, as well as, allergic reactions to the medications for pneumonia. I was there every day and night. I could not believe my own eyes. How could such a thing happen?

Thank God that he finally came out of the coma. Two days later, while he was still on life support, he was transferred to Kernan Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) Hospital in Baltimore, Maryland. He turned 16 without even knowing that he had a trach in his throat and a feeding tube. Gradually the hospital staff tried to ween him off the life support systems. His vision and left eye had been damaged and he could not speak or interact. My son had no memory or ability to do anything. He acted like an animal. He bit me and almost bit his own lip off because of the injury to his brain. He was at Kernan for three weeks. He underwent rehabilitation as best as they could provide given the circumstances.

After he was released from Kernan at the end of September 2003, you would think things would have gotten better but instead they got worse. I now had a stranger to take home as my child. As a loving and caring mother, I had to try to raise him all over again after sixteen years. It was and still is a nightmare that I live with every day. It is beyond any parents worst imagination.The insurance and “the system” did not provide any further rehabilitation or help. My family and I did it all. When released, he weighed 155 pounds–a lost of over 100 pounds!

It has been over four years since the accident and he has not finished school. Like most of the world, the school system did not understand the problems and issues associated with a brain injury. He has no memory of the accident. He is depressed and at times violent. He has cognitive-memory problems and mental health issues. For the past year and a half, the program at Pathways/DORs tried to help us along with the Southern Maryland Support Group, and Developmental Disability Administration (DDA). For the most part, “The System” and even most doctors do not understand TBI.

My son is now 19 and still has a long, long way to go just to be semi-self dependent. It is heart breaking for me as his mother. As a result, I have Post Traumatic Syndrome. His and my families were torn apart and still are. The biggest problem is that he looks normal, talks and walks as any teenager but at 19  (6′2″ and 170 lbs.) he has no education, no job, no drivers license, and soon will be homeless because of all the problems. He was a honor roll student through Junior High School until the accident. Thank God for the support group. I try and get him to attend and he has attended one meeting but does like to go because of denial, which is very common in TBI  survivors. This is my story and this is my son’s story. Unfortunately, it is also the story of many other brain injury survivors, their caregivers, and their family.

David & Carol Cadenhead

Hi! My name is David. My wife’s name is Carolyn. On December 27, 1983, our oldest son, Michael (Mike), was in a serious car accident resulting in a “closed head” brain injury. Mike was airlifted by helicopter to the Prince Georges Hospital Emergency Center. In February 1984, he was transfered to Mount Vernon Hospital for therapy and released in the summer of 1985. The accident left him blind and with other cognitive challenges. As a result, Carol and I have been full time caregivers. The good news is that Mike has a great attitude and loves the Lord. He encourages us. He comes up with some great wisdom. That gives us hope. I hope to share some of his encouragement and wisdom in this blog.

We attend the Southern Maryland Brain Injury Support Group. They help us know that “We are not alone.” We want you to know that you are not alone either.